Friday, June 1, 2012
Mt. Bliss (A Friday Fictioneer Story)
It's Friday Fictioneer day compliments of Madison Woods at http://madisonwoods.wordpress.com/flash-fiction/desolation/ Read and post your flash fiction here and on her site. This week's breathtaking photo is by Doug MacIlroy, from Hawaii.
Martha stared at the snow-covered volcano.
Ethan adjusted his backpack. “Ready?”
Martha patted her pocket to make sure her phone was inside--just in case.
After several hours, she said, "I’m starving."
Ethan fished inside his parka. "Beef jerky?"
"I'm a vegetarian."
Ethan shrugged and bit off a chunk.
Martha glared at him. "After ten years of marriage, you still can't remember that I don't eat meat?"
"Actually, I do remember. I also have almonds but you're allergic to those. Good luck, Martha. I told you I wanted a divorce but you—"
Martha had a feeling this hike wasn't to make amends. She shoved Ethan into the giant pit using Catwoman-like strength.
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Okay, not sure why it didn't show my line and paragraph breaks. Aargh. Sorry. That makes it difficult to read.
ReplyDeleteThis new system has me baffled. It was a miracle I could even post!
I had problems too. When I set mine up the photo was above the story, but when I clicked "published" it rearranged everything.
ReplyDeleteYours is one of those "hell hath no furry . . ." stories. I do wonder why they went on such a strenuous hike if there was such ill will between the two.
mine's here http://russellgayer.blogspot.com/
Martha had high hopes the anniversary hike was to make amends but wasn't sure it would turn out that way (that's why she made certain to have a phone). But you're right--that's a hell of a thing to do if you're at odds with each other.
ReplyDeleteHeeello! What a great little fiction piece. Visceral & smack in your face hook at the end. Great job!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Melania. Martha turned the tables on Ethan, didn't she?!
ReplyDeleteDid you write a story I can read?
Yes I did. Here it is: http://nwfantasywriter.blogspot.com/2012/06/friday-fictioners-ascent.html
DeleteThis is my first time doing this!
And you did a great job! I was climbing the summit right along with you.
ReplyDeleteMust say this is great! Nice surprise ending!
ReplyDeleteThank you, oldentimes. I'm almost famous for writing surprise endings! lol. Did you write one?
DeleteEnjoyed your story. Nice build up & I like Martha's final move at the end! Here's my flash for the week: http://moniqueshante.wordpress.com/2012/06/01/friday-fictioneers-relief-6-1-12week-2/
ReplyDeleteThank you, Moniqueshante. Heading to yours now.
ReplyDeleteEthan's last words as he fell..."I regret that I have but one almond to give.........."
ReplyDeleteRemind me never to go hiking with you, Beth. A lovely story with a not so hidden moral; get to know your mate...and don't press her buttons at the edge of high places.
Thanks for visiting Poli'ahu at Dawn and commenting.
Aloha,
Doug
You never know what a menopausal woman will do! Thanks for the beautiful photo, Doug. Sorry I had to write a nasty story to go along with it. But it sure was fun!
DeleteEnjoy those beautiful views!
Maybe he should have fed her the almonds! Ha! Nice take on the photo prompt.
ReplyDelete~Susan (www.susanwenzel.com)
I'm sure Ethan wishes he had! Yours was beautiful, Susan.
DeleteOh! Ouch! I'm amazed they made it to the top together and intact. Very unexpected ending. I like the twist. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Keli. Yes, it seemed to be going well for awhile...
DeleteHi Beth: Welcome back! Nice story...surprise twist. All along, I thought he was going to get rid of her. I'm passing this week. Blinding migraine the last two days. See you next week.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Lora. Sorry to hear about your migraine. Hope you're feeling better.
DeleteHe was going to get rid of Martha but you know what they say about those best-laid plans.
Hahaha! The age old tale, well except for the volcano and the shove into oblivion - other than that, I recognise it ;-)
ReplyDeleteLovely twist and very humourous. Thanks for the giggle.
Thanks for stopping by Mik. Glad I made you giggle!
DeleteLoved the Catwoman-like strength! Good one.
ReplyDeletehttp://tedstrutz.com/2012/06/01/friday-fictioneers-one-natural-disaster-on-its-way/
Thank you, Ted. Heading over to yours soon.
DeleteWow. Well, done! I love that he got his just desserts in the end and it was totally unexpected for him. Not what he had planned. Very good stuff! Thank you for your kind comments on my post! http://theforgottenwife.com/2012/05/30/friday-fictioneers-1-june-2012-the-conquerer/
ReplyDeleteWhat a jerk! He deserved it. Good for her. I really cant say more than that because I'm stuck on what a jerk that guy was. My share is here: http://remakingme-atiyatownes.blogspot.com/2012/06/friday-flash-fiction-start-day.html
ReplyDeleteHe was a jerk and messed with the wrong woman! Thanks for stopping by, Atiya. I'll get to yours soon.
DeleteGood for Martha. I couldn't help but smile when I read "She shoved Ethan into the giant pit using Catwoman-like strength."
ReplyDeleteMy flash fiction: http://logo-ligi.com/2012/06/01/the-standpoint/
Thank you logo-ligi! Heading over to yours soon.
DeleteI'm a sucker for an ending that smacks you in the face. Good job. Sounds to me like it might have been a kill or be killed situation.
ReplyDeleteHere's mine at www.rochelle-wisoff.blogspot.com/2012/06/kiss-me-sailor.html
A shove can be more effective than an attorney. I laughed bubbles into my coffee. Thanks.
ReplyDeletehttp://thebradleychronicles.wordpress.com/2012/05/30/flash-fiction-friday-an-addiction/
Ha! Glad I made you laugh bubbles! Now, you made MY day.Thank you. Heading to yours.
DeleteHas anyone noticed my subliminal title; the name of the volcano? Just curious.
ReplyDelete