Go Away, White Space

Anyone know how to get rid of the crappy white space on my blog? I tried to find the answer by googling the info and see that many bloggers are having this issue. But I really didn't find a good solution.

If you have any suggestions, please let me know. I have a lot more info on the right side of my blog but you have to scroll waaaaayyyy down to find it. Technical difficulties. Aargh.

Five Minutes

Five minutes goes by slowly if you're waiting for your nails to dry. Five minutes feels like a long time if you're standing in line waiting for popcorn after the movie has begun. Five minutes drags on and on when you're at a distant relative's graduation. Five minues seems like an eternity if you're stuck at a stoplight and late for work. Five minutes feels like a lifetime if you're at the dentist's office getting a filling.

But, let me tell you, five minutes goes by at warp speed when you're giving a verbal pitch to an agent or editor. I mean it FLIES by. And you cetainly don't want to waste time talking about the weather, a plane flight, each other's kids, anyone's cute shoes, haircut or a mutual acquaintance. Listen to me. This is very important. Do NOT waste a precious 30 seconds on any of that stuff. You do not have 30 seconds to spare. Trust me on this.

Now, I'm no expert on verbal pitch sessions since I've only had two, but I can tell you that I blathered on too long during the first one. Here's another tip: When you're told you have a five-minute pitch session, you really don't. That's a lie. It's actually about three minutes. Why? Because the person who is interviewing you needs a couple of minutes to ask questions. So, cull down your 300 page-novel into one or two paragraphs. Easy peasy, right? I know. It's nearly impossible but that's how the game is played.

Have you had a pitch session? Do you have one scheduled? Please share.

Hand-Wringing Time

This is it! Pitch day is fast approaching. I've been furiously editing my women's fiction manuscript and just drafted a query letter and synopsis--all in the hopes the editor will love my pitch (once I figure out what I'm going to say). Wouldn't it be nice if the editor leaned back in her chair, smiled and said, "I love the premise. Email me the full manuscript tonight." A girl can dream, can't she?

Of course, that never/rarely happens to a debut novelist so I'm trying to be realistic. For now, I'm concentrating on final edits (this is at least my fourth pass through 300 pages) and am adding more descriptions and more backstory. My novel is paced fairly quickly (which is what I like to read) and is character and dialogue driven (also what I enjoy reading). I do not like long narration and will put the book down if my eyes glaze over or if I start to yawn. Put me right in the middle of the action, I say. Now, it's my job to hook you, the reader, (and that scary agent/editor).

How about you? Have you written a synopsis, query letter or pitched to an agent or editor? If so, please share your tips and help calm my nerves.

MOMoirs

In honor of Mother's Day next weekend, let's honor moms all over the world with some creative, fun, poignant six-word MOMoirs. Here are ten I've written:

Supermoms do it without a cape.
Eighth Wonder of the World: Moms
Daughter becoming like me. Chuckle, smile.
World's best blackberry cobbler: My mom's.
Mom made my velvet Barbie dress.
Twin babies: Extreme motherhood by fire.
Love watching babies discover, learn, blossom.
My mom: Most unselfish person ever.
Moms need to pamper themselves, too.
Children. Now, I understand unconditional love.

Come up with some of your own here and then enter them in SMITH Magazine's MOMoir contest at http://www.smithmag.net/

Happy Mother's Day to all the Mom's out there! Celebrate yourselves next Sunday.

I Miss The Seventies

To go along with my poll, I'll let you know about my favorite decade. It's a tough decision because I love my life right now and wouldn't change a thing. But the decade I'm going to choose was before my daughter was born and before I met my wonderful husband.

With that said, the seventies were hard to beat. Hands down, that was the decade with the best music. No other decade has even come close. We also had the coolest muscle cars in the seventies--and who could forget the vans with the beds in the back. My boyfriend had one of those and it drove my father nuts. I was a good girl, though. Truly.

In the seventies, it was cool to tan, and boy, did I love having a dark tan. We didn't hear about aging our skin or the sun's causing skin cancer. We just lathered ourselves with slippery baby oil and had at it. For that reason, we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves every time we were outside.

The hemlines were short, and more than once, my dad said, "Young lady, you are not leaving the house in that!" My uniform at the movie theater was equally short, as was my cheerleading skirt. Even the guys wore short shorts.

My favorite bands, Doobie Borthers and the Eagles, released amazing albums that decade and Elvis was still around. (I love Elvis, remember?) Many of us went to concerts, hung out at friends' homes, or were highly entertained by simply driving up and down Kearney Street.

Malls were safe and we never heard about pedophiles. We happily went trick or treating and sold Girl Scout cookies to complete strangers. We somehow made it through life without cell phones and computers. And we were thin because we were active. We ate home-cooked meals with our families and actually had face-to-face conversations.

Ah, those were the days. I loved--and miss--the seventies. What was your favorite decade and why?

Book Signings Are Fun

While I may not have had a maze of long lines (or people camping out the night before) like fans did for Sarah Palin and Dog the Bounty Hunter—both of whom were at our local Borders recently—I did have a strong, loyal showing for my first-ever book signing. Forty friends, colleagues and family members stopped by Borders on April 10 to receive an autographed copy of IT ALL CHANGED IN AN INSTANT, More Six-Word Memoirs by Writers Famous & Obscure. My sweet husband bought a special engraved pen for the occasion, which unfortunately (or fortunately) ran out of ink in one hour. Thirty books sold in two hours. I was touched and humbled by the support from so many. Kathy and Sharon, two Ozarks Romance Author friends, adorned my table with balloons and cookies. Shirley, president of Sleuths' Ink, took tons of pictures. Another writer friend, Jill, served as an I-reporter and put updates on Facebook. My parents gave me a beautiful bouquet of colorful daisies. Many attended--family members, writer friends, co-workers, as well as classmates from high school and even one from second grade! I felt so loved and humbled. I created a “Movies & Memoirs” gift basket and had a drawing for the basket (my marketing ploy to get a mailing list for future books!) The basket contained movie tickets, four popcorn containers, large candy bars, microwaveable popcorn, bookmarks, six-word memoir postcards, and naturally, the book. Opfer Communications graciously loaned a flat screen television for the event and even hauled it in and out of Borders. One of their directors downloaded the Smith feed/loop thingy (see why I needed technical assistance?) onto a disk. Several chairs were set up in front of the TV so onlookers could see excerpts from the book. Denise and Gary from Borders were extremely helpful and agreeable (even during the days prior to the signing when I was a bit anal). I know. Hard to believe. I gave away chocolate candy bars, six-word memoir buttons, post cards, and magnetic bookmarks featuring my memoir that appears on page one: “Zip. Zero. Zilch. Nothing published. Yet.” It’s interesting how everyone’s perception changes once you’re published. Seriously, it all changed in an instant.

Writers Wear Many Hats

Writers wear many hats. Literally. I belong to three writers' groups and every time I attend a meeting, I can count on the fact that several writers will be wearing a hat--all kinds of hats--berets, softball caps, knitted caps, cowboy hats, floppy sun hats, you name it. What is it about writers and hats? Don't get me wrong. I love hats. Always have, so I wear them, too. I'm just curious to know why so many writers adorn them. Is it because we're so creative we have to keep all our great ideas tucked firmly into our brain? Maybe it's because we like to show the world we're unique. Possibly it's due to the fact that we're just so darn artsy and adorable. Could it be that we're sending a message that we're non-establishment, so to speak? (Although, I'm a corporate person, too. Yawn.) Of course, writers also wear many hats in the other sense of the word--we write anytime we can--before, during and after work. We squeeze in writing between taking care of families, household chores, and tending the lawn. After wasting too much time on our social networking addictions, we still find time to write. As we're (hopefully) exercising, we're still thinking about that next story. Have you noticed that writers wear hats? What's your favorite type of hat?